Hi-hello! My name is Kate and I am honored to be here on this trauma healing journey with you. I am thrice-touched by trauma. I wear the labels of: trauma kid – I was adopted and raised by parents struggling with their own unhealed issues, rape survivor – I was raped by my boyfriend when I was 15, and domestic abuse survivor – my ex-husband is a convicted felon. My healing journey is decidedly still in progress, but I do it not only for my own well-being, but also because I am a mom. Kiddo is about to graduate and head off to college. My two Bonus Daughters are no longer part of my life, but I loved and raised them as if they were my own during the years that they were.
Choose whatever analogy works for you – put your own mask on first, you can’t pour from an empty cup – it is vital to care for and regulate yourself. Parenting is hard enough at its core. If you add in your own trauma and/or your child’s trauma, it becomes exponentially more challenging. When I first spoke with Gina about her RAD journey roughly 8 years ago, it was profoundly eye-opening! My youngest Bonus Daughter didn’t enter my life until she was in her tweens, so there is much of her history I didn’t know but she demonstrated so many RAD behaviors. Having TDU as a resource would have changed our worlds. One of my deepest regrets is that I wasn’t able to do better for her while she was in my life. One of my biggest worries is that I haven’t done enough for Kiddo – that my own trauma has affected him, even though I try so hard for it not to. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I have the awareness to try to break our generational trauma.
Everyone’s stories are different, but there are common themes. People have asked me why I am so comfortable speaking candidly about my experiences. Telling our stories makes others feel less alone, helps break the stigma around trauma and healing, and provides a different lens for others to view their own experience. To that end, I am delighted to be providing some book reviews in the coming months. I have been an avid reader my entire life. Books have provided escape when necessary, inspiration when I least expect it, and tools when I have needed them. I agree with Gina’s words when she invited me, “fiction and non-fiction can both be inspiring and help us re-frame our thoughts.” I have a mile-long list of both to read! I hope to find some gems and look forward to sharing them with you.
Speaking of BOOKS... have you read Gina's book, Love Never Quits: Surviving & Thriving After Infertility, Adoption, and Reactive Attachment Disorder? Here's a link if you want to check it out. All profits support our work at Trauma Drama University to keep our programming free.